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I hate to sound like a broken record, but these meditations are so healing. Yesterday when I did this meditation, it was right before work, so it had to sit with me for awhile. I came into the meditation with the same issue as the day before, albeit not as loud, the urging of "having to do something" was there. I did ask the question if it was something I needed to do, and there was a soft "No.", but I didn't like that answer. I don't know about you but I have never liked being told "No." I did ask myself why I thought I needed to do this, Ego was quite ready with an answer, "Oh so you can prove you are worthy to your employer." I had to chuckle because I have already proven myself and they are light years ahead of where they would be had they not hired me, just because of the experience I bring. But Ego is never happy, well mine at least. The funny thing is, the decision was never mine to make, so I handed the decision over to my boss. The outcome will be over tonight. It just boggles my mind that all this turmoil has happened over a little idea that popped into my head, that is neither life nor death, but my Ego wanted to make it seem that way. I have noticed though, that the "dramas" are getting smaller and smaller. It is as if the Ego is grasping onto the very things; drama, turmoil, angst, worry, pain.....that keep it from merging into the Soul where there is calm, peace, joy, life. The Ego's trust is not there yet. The Soul continues to call, patiently waiting, patiently loving, understanding that every process and experience is necessary for the full unity to happen. It is like that vacation you are looking forward to, and when you get there it is better than you expected, but you still had to go through all those days before the vacation. You have the choice of how you choose those days before, "Five days until vacation!", or "OMG, will this five days ever end so I can get away on vacation." I get mini-vacations every day with these mediations and I am eager to find out what new treasures lay ahead!
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