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Wow. I am still breathing deep from this one. My mind has been in a frenzy since last night after a conversation with a neighboring tasting room manager. My Ego has been almost yelling- "You need to do this, you need to do that, hurry, not much time...." I awoke this morning at 5:30 am, not being able to go back to sleep, so I putted around the house, keeping myself busy, and right before I was making preparations to leave the house to "do" all this stuff, I heard that little voice, "Why don't you meditate first?" What a difference. There is no frenzy, there is no "you need to, you have to, you should." As I am writing this, I have tears running down my face; tears of gratitude, for this moment, for this space. "I" am not going to run out the door now to do things that do not need to be done, "We" are going to go sit outside on the balcony and watch the wind play through the beautiful fall leaves on the trees.
I didn't want to meditate today. I was too tired and my body hurt from overextending myself yesterday, physically and mentally. I do it to myself, no one else is standing behind me going, "You're not doing enough, you're not good enough.", it is just the voice in my head. When connecting with my body during the meditation, I felt like a limp noodle being stuck with needles. I am not going to lie to you and say that after the mediation I jumped up and said, "I am ready for this day!", but most of the pain is gone, and the fog has lifted from my head. And I am breathing deep again.
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