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This was the perfect meditation for me today. I swear Beth does these just for me. The morning started out great, exercised (didn't over do it this time), made lunch for my husband and I and set out to the grocery store. I was going to the smaller HEB which made me happy because I knew I wouldn't be there for 1 1/2 hours and would not spend as much money. I got the things on my list and got into the car and then remembered the real reason I went to this HEB was for my husband's prescription, which I had forgotten to get. I ran back into HEB, thinking to myself, I'll only be a minute, the rotisserie chicken will be fine for a few minutes in the car......I was paying for the prescription, and it was twice as much as normal, but I didn't say anything, wanted to get back into the car, then the associate asked, "Oh, do you have new insurance, his other insurance came back as closed." I whipped out the new insurance car, all the while thinking about my chicken in the car. Got it taken care of. As I am walking towards the door, my husband calls, "Are you still at HEB?", "Yes." "Can you pick up some crab meat?" Irritation is building up, of course I said sure, ran to the back where the fish was, took me forever to find it, was mad about him calling, mad he didn't put it on the shopping list, mad that he didn't tell me he was going to make crab dip because I already had the dinner menu in my mind for the next week. I did quite a few "Huh's" on the way home. He called again when I was unloading the car, I asked him if I could call him back, and he replied, "Are you still at HEB?". "No." It wasn't a nice no. He immediately said oh never mind, I am sorry I bothered you. I told him he hadn't bothered me, and I would try to get out again to get what he wanted. I finally got into the house, took a deep breath and was like, "What's up Shannon? Why all the drama?" (over chicken?) I need to meditate. I proceeded to put together the recipe I had planned and put it in the oven, all the while mulling over what had happened. All this monkey mind stuff. Then I started thinking about yesterday and how I wrote about the "Holy Moment". Were these moments that much less holier than when I was in meditation? These moments brought me to a place of recognizing, of stopping the monkey mind, of Now. That was what I also received from this meditation- "Allow yourself to be a part of the process." How beautiful. Those earlier moments did not feel beautiful. They felt ucky, dark, uncomfortable, but those moments brought me to this beautiful moment, and the next beautiful moment. I may not ever get to the point where I can see every moment as beautiful, but I can honor them for what they are and their usefulness in my journey.
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