This was the hardest meditation I've ever done. For the last few days I have been filled with much sadness, and I didn't really know why, and I kept asking the question why, Why am I sad?, Why I am here?. When my husband came home yesterday from being gone for 3 days he told me that his best friend found out he had cancer and has 6-8 weeks to live. I guess I was picking up on his sadness. For the first part of the meditation, I cried, it is hard to "HUH" when you are sobbing, so they were quite weak, the humming made my tongue buzz, and it took all my concentration to stay focused. I was finally able to go inside and when Beth said to bring something with me, I brought my husband, his friend and his friend's wife. I saw us siting in a circle, holding hands, and me directing "E's" to the right and to the left, even as the meditation ended, I continued and we all sent "E's" upward, our energies combining, and then I saw us all turning into tiny sparkles of stardust. It was a wonderful moment. I am still sad, but I have this moment, and I have the tools to go to this moment whenever the sadness begins to take over, I can imagine us sitting in that circle, exchanging energy, sending energy, being energy. Blessings
This meditation was much different than yesterday for a couple of reasons, first I was not sobbing and sadness did not fill my heart, and yesterday it was 70 degrees outside when I did it, and this morning it was 46...brrrr. One of the reasons I comment on these meditations is to let Beth know how much they are helping me in my day to day living, and also, I think it is important to share our experiences. I did not note in yesterday's meditation that I had a sharp pain in my left thigh, and that is where I focused (well as much as I could) on, and at the end of the mediation, the pain was gone. It is a pain that comes and goes and I haven't figured out yet what causes it, but I am grateful that it is gone for the time being. I did not focus on getting rid of it, just noticed it and sent the energy through. With that pain, I also have been experiencing quite a bit of pain in my knees, especially the left one. I do spend 8 hours a day standing or walking on concrete floors at work, not the best for them I am sure. I try not to take any medications, but sometimes I am just too tired to deal with it, or I am work and cannot go to my car and put on headphones and do a meditation. (Wouldn't that be nice, "Excuse me, do you mind if I skip out for 10 minutes to balance myself?" What I have done though is that when they start hurting, I ask my body, what do you need? I notice the pain mostly when I am walking, and I tend to walk with small steps, very fast, breathing shallow and leaning forward almost as if I am walking against something. When I notice my walking, I stand up straighter, take longer strides (I feel as if I am walking like a beauty queen), take a deep breath and the pain subsides for the most part. So I am learning how to walk differently. This is all from these meditations, listening to my body. I would like to get to the point where I listen most of the time to my body. Checking in periodically, "how ya doin, anything you need?" Baby steps.
This was the hardest meditation I've ever done. For the last few days I have been filled with much sadness, and I didn't really know why, and I kept asking the question why, Why am I sad?, Why I am here?. When my husband came home yesterday from being gone for 3 days he told me that his best friend found out he had cancer and has 6-8 weeks to live. I guess I was picking up on his sadness. For the first part of the meditation, I cried, it is hard to "HUH" when you are sobbing, so they were quite weak, the humming made my tongue buzz, and it took all my concentration to stay focused. I was finally able to go inside and when Beth said to bring something with me, I brought my husband, his friend and his friend's wife. I saw us siting in a circle, holding hands, and me directing "E's" to the right and to the left, even as the meditation ended, I continued and we all sent "E's" upward, our energies combining, and then I saw us all turning into tiny sparkles of stardust. It was a wonderful moment. I am still sad, but I have this moment, and I have the tools to go to this moment whenever the sadness begins to take over, I can imagine us sitting in that circle, exchanging energy, sending energy, being energy. Blessings
ReplyDeleteThis meditation was much different than yesterday for a couple of reasons, first I was not sobbing and sadness did not fill my heart, and yesterday it was 70 degrees outside when I did it, and this morning it was 46...brrrr. One of the reasons I comment on these meditations is to let Beth know how much they are helping me in my day to day living, and also, I think it is important to share our experiences. I did not note in yesterday's meditation that I had a sharp pain in my left thigh, and that is where I focused (well as much as I could) on, and at the end of the mediation, the pain was gone. It is a pain that comes and goes and I haven't figured out yet what causes it, but I am grateful that it is gone for the time being. I did not focus on getting rid of it, just noticed it and sent the energy through. With that pain, I also have been experiencing quite a bit of pain in my knees, especially the left one. I do spend 8 hours a day standing or walking on concrete floors at work, not the best for them I am sure. I try not to take any medications, but sometimes I am just too tired to deal with it, or I am work and cannot go to my car and put on headphones and do a meditation. (Wouldn't that be nice, "Excuse me, do you mind if I skip out for 10 minutes to balance myself?" What I have done though is that when they start hurting, I ask my body, what do you need? I notice the pain mostly when I am walking, and I tend to walk with small steps, very fast, breathing shallow and leaning forward almost as if I am walking against something. When I notice my walking, I stand up straighter, take longer strides (I feel as if I am walking like a beauty queen), take a deep breath and the pain subsides for the most part. So I am learning how to walk differently. This is all from these meditations, listening to my body. I would like to get to the point where I listen most of the time to my body. Checking in periodically, "how ya doin, anything you need?" Baby steps.
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